Before I became a mother, I thought I knew what love looked like. I had known it in so many forms—love for my parents, for a partner, for friends. I knew what it meant to love intensely, with longing, with passion. But I didn't know that love could fill a person beyond the limits of the heart, reaching into the tiniest corner of their being.
Then she arrived. Roua. And everything I knew about love was written anew.
She isn't a child who shows affection through touch. She doesn't leap into my arms every morning, doesn't lean her head on my shoulder, doesn't instinctively reach for my hand when we're out walking. She's a free spirit who expresses her love in other ways: through her presence, through play, through words she saves like rare stones, only for the moments that matter most.
When a hug does come from her, it melts my body and soul, as if all the exhaustion, all the worries, all the fears simply vanish. It's a rare hug, not a reflex, not something done on autopilot. It's a conscious choice. She hugs me only when she feels the need to. And when she does, I know I am truly loved.
Maybe other parents get dozens of hugs a day. Maybe some kids are cuddly and warm, but Roua is different. She loves from a distance, but deeply. Sometimes she says “I love you, Mom” out of nowhere, without even looking at me, as if it's something she senses I need to hear right at that moment.
And in those moments, my heart doesn't just fill up; it overflows.
I used to wonder sometimes whether this was normal. Whether I should teach her to be more affectionate, whether I should explain that hugs matter. But I soon realized that she loves in her own way. And that her way is just as genuine and deep as any other child's.
Being a mother means learning to love without expecting anything in return. But it also means recognizing love in all its forms, even the ones that look nothing like your own.
Today, when a hug from her catches me off guard, I receive it like a sacred gift.
And I know that no matter how rarely she gives it, her love is there. Always. Just as my love for her is.
